Well, there are times when you’ve got to forget everything else and just “stand up & applause” a performance. A performance so brilliant that it leaves the perfectionists and the kings behind. A performance by an artist so confident of her game that everything else just wilts in comparison.   

I confess, I am in love again. I am Run out, Bowled over, completely stunned by this powerhouse of a performer. With Tanu Weds Manu Returns, Kangana shows every Khan, every Kapoor in the business that she’s the Hero they really need to be worried about! She’s got the swag, the talent and the charisma – that’s 3 khans packed into one.

Anand Rai’s story is really mad cap and his characters are ever crazier. The film starts off with an absolutely bonkers of a scene where Manu gets institutionalized for being mad. Tanu, who’s a lost soul in London, returns to Kanpur and finds her Mojo! She starts flirting around, creating havoc everywhere she goes. She’s the “patakha” whose “waat” is always on fire. She’s ready to explode. And explode she does! Meanwhile, Manu gets saved by his friend Pappi, who takes him back home to Delhi. And that’s when he meets Kusum, Tanu’s Haryanvi look-alike. From then on, things go from mad to worse!

The first half of the film is an absolute laugh riot. It is not so much the story, but the dialogues and the delivery that creates the magic. Every actor in the film does his/her bit with aplomb. Be it Madhavan’s awkward silences or Dobriyal’s one liners. Be it Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub’s madness or Jimmy Shergill’s stability. But it is Kangana who steals the show by a mile and 3 quarters! You are already in awe of her drunken, broken, screw the world, badass attitude as Tanu, when a thunderbolt called Kusum strikes you. Half the theater didn’t even realise the 2nd Kangana is actually Kangana. It’s that big a transformation. Not just physically, but the body language, the dialect, the gestures. And your jaw literally drops. You are as awe-struck as Madhavan in the film.

A lot of credit goes to Anand Rai, who gives Ranaut the ‘roles’ she deserves and she hits the ball right out of the park. So even though the films story goes into the absolutely lunacy zone in the second half and the director seems to be wandering in LA LA land, Kangana holds you spellbound. Watch her dance with absolute rage in “Main Ghani Baawri Ho gayi” as Tanu or walk determinedly in “Move On” or dance with complete abandon in “Banno tera Swagger (Sweater)!!” and tell me if anyone else can pull it off with that much panache! Watch her teary eyes drunken walk as she aches to be the other girl and tell me that you are not reminded of Meena Kumari. No wonder she’s been picked to play Meena in her biopic! No one else could pull it off.

As you can see, this is not so much a review as a love letter, an ode to the best performance I have seen in a long long time; probably one of the best I have ever seen. So forget about everything else, and do yourself a favour – Watch Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Get ready to do the double take at her double take and then bow to the Queen…

Rating: 7.5/10

P.S: I won’t really go into the technical aspects or the flaws in the central premise, because that would dilute the impact of Kangana’s roles. Go get angry, laugh and cry with her, and forget about the flaws in everything else. 

Anurag Kashyup has been the flag-bearer of the Indi Cine revolution in Bollywood, where stories are more important than stars. He is a trendsetter and he has taken multiple risks. Every film of his is embroiled in controversy, either by design or by chance. So when he announced the “near 100 Crore” Bombay Velvet, I felt it was a big gamble that the producers had taken. Going by his track record, it could either be a classic hit or a classic misfire! He has the tendency to go overboard, do many things at one time and over-direct a film. But then he has also directed Gangs of Wasseypur…

So how is Bombay Velvet? The promotions were centered around the sizzling Chemistry between the protagonists – Ranbir and Anushka. So let’s start with the Chemistry and then we will move on to the other subjects!

Chemistry – B: That they were comfortable with each other comes through, but unfortunately their relationship isn’t well developed. In the haste of saying too much, Kashyap doesn’t develop characters and relationships. The screenplay in the opening 5-10 minutes of the film is ridiculous. Yes, he wants to show how the landscape of Mumbai was changing, but the childhood scenes, the jump to adulthood don’t make sense. They do nothing for the characters. Even the romance is hurried. You don’t get a chance to connect with them, feel their love. The characters go through a lot of emotions, but unfortunately you don’t.

Social Sciences – A+: As expected, Kashyap excels in Geography and History. The art design, the costumes, the look is spot on. You get a glimpse of Bombay in the prohibition era. The cinematography is excellent and the film does teleport you back to the 60s!

Art and Craft – B: Purely in terms of storytelling, AK fails this time. His ambitions of making an epic is the major problem. If he had envisioned this as a 2 hour film, it could have been a memorable film. The writing ranges from the excellent to the ridiculous. As I said earlier, the characters aren’t built properly. KJo, an ambitious man, picks up a roadside nobody to do some dirty work and you can’t understand why? Why doesn’t he simply pick up a professional killer? Why risk it with an amateur? While Kjo pulls off the scenes well, his character is extremely vague (like many other characters). Kashyap does well in the Art of storytelling, but he fails in the craft of it!

Music – A: Amit Trivedi aces the test. Be it the amazing background score or the Jazzified tracks, he does make the experience richer. He fulfils Anurag’s ambition of having Tarantinoish, background score laced action sequences/montages with aplomb. The only problem could be the overdose of Jazz. There isn’t much variety on offer, which makes the music monotonous. Loved Dhadam Dhadam and Mohabbat Buri Bimaari!

Mathematics - C: Do things add up? Well, Kashyap seems to have gone overboard while directing this film. It was written and shot like an epic and then, it seems, on the edit table they decided to make it '2 and half hour' film instead of a '3 and half hour' one! Hence the pacing and the flow seems extremely choppy. You jump from scene to scene, montage to montage, song to song. The movie lacks “THEHERAAO”, build up and you see it like a sequence of events amounting to something. But finally, things don’t add up. The impact is lost in the overdose. Even the motivations of characters aren’t clear. Everything seems very convenient, predictable. Why does Ranbir’s sidekick become his sidekick? Why does he decide to go against him and why does he flip back to Ranbir’s side in the end? Just doesn’t make sense.

Overall - B: Forget the making, forget everything, the problem lies in the movie’s inability to connect with its audience. So, should you watch it? Well, it is not as bad as they are making it to be. If 'Gabbar is Back' can make 100 Crores, then this deserves atleast 200! Go watch it and make up your own mind. Atleast watch it for Ranbir, Anushka, KJo and the ensemble cast’s sincere effort. 

Some say that the internet is trying to kill the film, but why will it? Yes, he is AK – Arvind Kejriwal of the film making world, but that doesn’t mean the Modi aka Rohit Shetty Sangh or the Rahul Gandhi aka RGV brigade is out to bring him down! Kashyap has been the darling of the critics and the intelligent audience for years now. His problem was connecting with the masses. I think he should reflect on the film and see why he hasn’t connected with the people he generally connects with. Over ambition, Over Zealous Direction and an over bearing feeling of it wanting to be a Noir Classic (Wannabe) ultimately kills Bombay Velvet. Sadly, Jazzba hai Jaan nahi...

Rating: 6/10
If you think otherwise, would love to know your thoughts - Do comment.
If you agree. LIKE maaro naa!!!

There are many ways of making a comeback and unfortunately, I make mine with one the most iconic Character names in Bollywood – Gabbar.. who is back..as a corruption fighting crusader. And watching it is no mean feat… It actually feels like you are Thakur and there is a nasty rash on your ass that you cannot possible scratch. Gabbar has taken away your hands remember? And the director’s brains, presumably!

Now I know what you must be thinking, why watch a film that you know will be bad! Well… Daring kiya naa… As Gabbar said “Jo Darr Gaya, Samjho marr gaya”. So I ventured into the theater like the bumbling Veeru! My Basanti didn’t come along, unfortunately… Usse Befuzool ki picchur dekhne ki aadat nahi hai… But anyway. 

The film is about this crusader named Gabbar, who warns the police about the next corrupt guy he is going to kill. In his world, everything is extremely black and white, mostly black. Everyone from the nurse, to the peons, to the policemen are corrupt. So he starts making a list of the most corrupt in every department and kills him ( Only him, no hers on top!) This way, he starts spreading DEHSHAT amongst the corrupt and the system starts getting better! Add to this a bumbling heroine, a nasty rich villain, a hair-brained backstory, some terrible songs, atrocious screenplay, cameos from a couple of bust heaving  old heroines and you have got the 100 Crore concoction ready. 

While everything else makes you go “THE END kab hai? Kab hai THE END”, the dialogues will make you want to commit SOOO SIDDEEE! Sample this, the Heroine learns everything from Google ( sister concern of IIN) and even pulls off someone's delivery in a car by googling how to deliver a baby! Yeah, she’s that intelligent … NOT… The Villain keeps repeating his name is not just a name, it is a Brand ( yeah, right! Of Turd Bags)… And Gabbar keeps saying “I hate sorrys”, so Pushpa - forget about getting an apology anytime soon for that headache!!

Should you be watching this legend’er ender (pun intended)? Sooar ke bacchon, is that even a question? Arrey jab pachaas pachaas saal baad koi bachcha royega, toh maa bolegi so jaa beta nahi toh Gabbar ki CD lagaa dungi! It’s so bad, that “Kitne Aadmi the” is a question you ask to the survivors coming out of the theater! It’s so freaking bad, that people coming out of theater look at the people walking in and say “Abb tera kya hoga Kaaliya!!”… It’s so bloody bad, that if original Gabbar would be alive, he would have said “Ye Gabbar Singh ka naam poora mitti main milaay diye! Iski sajaa inko milegi… baraabar milegi” 

So, how many still wanna see it? ….

……

…..

Itna Sannata kyon hai bhai????


Rating: (Somewhere in Ramgarh)

Gabbar - Arrey o Sambha, kitna Rating diya hai re Veeru humko?
Sambha – Poore 2/10!
Gabbar – Point 10, aur mile 2? Bahut naainsaafi hai!
Sambha - Sardaar, Maine aapka namak khaya hai.. abb goli khila do... Marr jaana better hai!!!

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