​( Let’s see how many clichés you can find in this review )
 
They say that you can’t judge a book by its cover, but Chhichhore is exactly what it promises to be. The Dangal man, Nitesh Tiwari, is back and this time he has a whole lot of old wine in a new bottle. Yes, it’s the same ol’, same ol’ story of guys reminiscing about their college days. I know those days are as sweet as sugar and that rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but smell that rose over and over again, and it starts getting nauseating. That’s exactly how I felt while watching the ‘by the numbers’ tale of Chhichhore. Yes, I had some fun, but by the end of it I was bored.
 
There’s no time like the present, and that’s where the story starts. Sushant and Shraddha are middle-aged and divorced. Their son has just given his entrance exam and wants to really get into the best institution in India. Especially because his parents are ex-students of this institution and the apple doesn’t want to fall far from the tree. As luck would have it, he doesn’t get in, so he decides to fall far from a building instead! ( Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, this is not a spoiler ) Remember, every cloud has a silver lining. This tragedy gives the hero an opportunity to call up his old mates, who make it to the hospital in the nick of time to reminisce about their college days, when they had the time of their life. And yes, there is a moral to this story. One that saves the life of the bed-ridden boy in the ICU.
 
So we have a bunch of clichéd friends – the dork, the smart small town guy, the sex starved senior, the alcoholic, the mumma’s boy etc etc. We move from one comedy set piece to another ( which are fun to watch while they last. After all, laughter is the best medicine). Flashforward to today. The doctor talks as if the writing is on the wall for the suicidal son ( boring as hell). Flashback. More set pieces. A love interest. Opposites attract. A villainous guy enters scene. His hostel is great, as you know that the grass is always greener on the other side. And he is as fit as a fiddle. All he wants is to win the sports championship.
 
Sushant and his boys are called losers. But they want to change that. All for one and one for all happens! They don’t have talent. So they decide – when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. They come up with a plan to play to their strengths. They basically cheat, coz all is fair in love and war. Flash Forward. Doctor still a grumpy cat. He says it’s just a matter of time. Parents are frightened to death. Flashback. Boys play well. Flashforward. Boy is saved. All’s well that ends well. Moral of the story – Don’t cry over spilt milk. And… what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger…. And that you should live without a care in the world, especially about marks! Errr….And that it’s not the result that matters, but the effort you put in... You get the message.. A noble message, given repeatedly over time, but having absolutely no social impact whatsoever. It’s a 2000s cliché, that should be buried now.
 
So all in all, it is an OK watch, with some fresh comedy and all-round decent acting ( Varun Sharma/ Naveen Polishetty are competent, but Sushant overacts. Shraddha is surprisingly restrained) But like I have said over and over again, the movie is riddled with tropes that are done to death. It’s extremely formulaic ( the Raju Hirani formula) with massive melodrama mixed with chaddi based comedy. The first half was fine, but the climax was so predictable and boring, that it really turned me off. This underdog story bites more than it can chew and rather than being an eye-opening piece on the pressures of modern education, it becomes a crash course in clichés.
 
Rating: 5/10 ( Not bad Nitesh. But next time, do something new please)

And yeah, how many clichés did you spot? Comment to let me know... the one who gets it right, wins a hardcopy of 'The dictionary of cliches'..... not :P

The penultimate film by Tarantino is finally here and it is an ode to the Hollywood of the 60s. After having followed its success over the last few months, I could finally go and see why people say that it is Tarantino's most personal film yet. It unquestionably is. Because this is a deep dive into the Hollywood that was. Not from the perspective of the people who made it big, but from the perspective of those who did really good work but didn’t really become superstars. It’s a salute to all the unsung heroes. They didn’t define the era, but they surely made it.
 
It’s fair to say that this film would be quite frustrating for a lot of people. It’s a meandering, seemingly meaningless sequence of events that lead up to a crazy ending. There is no head, no tail. It’s not a story with a beginning, a defined tension and a climax that resolves it. It’s just a random sequence of events in the life of a few people. There is a lot of driving around, a lot of old television serials/commercials/comics/books/magazines etc etc and odd peeks into people’s houses or into conversations that seem inconsequential to anything. But then it’s not meant to be a story. It’s meant to be a love letter. A fairytale. A wish. It’s a look back with a sigh! Of Tarantino wishing things would have ended differently.
 
For truly appreciating this film, context is essential. For people who have lived in that era or have read about it or who live in Los Angeles, this would certainly be much more enjoyable. Imagine a film in which you deep dive into the TV world of early 90s in India. With black and white TVs having limited hours of programming - of Buniyaads and Mahabharats. Every reference would come with a sweet pang of nostalgia, won’t it? That’s exactly what context does. And that’s why to appreciate the film it would be essential to read up on this era. It’s essential to know about Sharon Tate and what happened to her. It’s essential to know about the Manson family, Cielo Drive and about Spagetti Westerns! Coz, only then would you know the motivation behind making this film. Only then would you realise, that Once Upon a Time isn’t just a retelling of a time gone by… it’s an attempt to rewrite it in a way that it should have been.
 
So, the film is essentially built around the 2 main characters played by Di Caprio and Pitt. While Leo plays this semi-successful TV actor, Brad plays his stunt double. Leo is a stuttering actor who is on the decline and is struggling to stay relevant. He has great talent, but just doesn’t have that extra bit to make it big. Brad on the other hand chooses to live life without any fuss. He is happy playing the stunt double and really doesn’t have an end game in mind. He is an affable guy who can become utterly violent when the need arises. Leo is also the neighbor of the recently shifted sweethearts – Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate ( played by Margot Robbie). And that’s why their story is fatefully connected to hers’.
 
To say that these 2 legends bring their A-game to the table is an understatement. Their chemistry is crackling, spell binding. Brad oozes Star power in every single frame he is present it. He plays the cool, tough guy with utter ease. And Leo blows you away with his on and off-screen persona. In one particular scene he swings effortlessly between the stuttering, underconfident actor and the on-screen menacing villain he is playing on a show. Just watching that would make you marvel at the control over his craft. 

And talking about craft, Tarantino does a masterclass in dialogues and storytelling yet again. The way he immerses you into the bygone era. The way he builds a divide between the worlds of a current super successful siren ( Sharon Tate) and a has-been TV star ( Leo), even though they are neighbours on Cielo Drive, is masterful. The way he builds tension in a scene where Brad goes to Spahn Movie Ranch ( almost Hitchcockian). And the way only he does Violence! It’s all so beautiful, so effortlessly amazing. While he does go a little overboard in having endless drive sequences with Radio shows playing in the background, it eventually does the job of truly getting you into the mind-space of that era. Knowing Tarantino, he would have chosen to frustrate the audience a little bit, coz he felt it was necessary to get you acclimatized.
 
I couldn’t sleep after the movie. I had to read up on a lot of things. Also, the climax just shook me up coz I knew about Sharon Tate and her fate. I absolutely loved the film. Maybe because I am an unabashed Tarantino fan. But also because of the way he weaves the story together.  The way his entire team meticulously recreates this bygone era. There are so many nuggets of wisdom there. So many things to learn about storytelling. Infact I need to watch it again. But I dunno about you. I would say, if you want to watch it, build a little bit of context. At the very least read up about Tate and the Manson Family. It will help you appreciate the film a little more and explain a lot of things. Tarantino never explains it explicitly. You would have to make that effort, to really appreciate the joys of the glorious past.. of Lost Angeles.
 
Rating: 8/10

​Ayushmann Khurana has struck gold. It’s his year suddenly. Smart movie choices have put him in the crosshairs of limelight. While he might still be blinded by the praise for his Andhadhun, he’s got to get ready to get pregnant with yet more praise for his ‘Badhaai Ho’. Well technically, both are not his films, he is just in it – competent as ever. The films belong to the veterans who are showing us how it is done. In Andhadhun it was Tabu and in Badhaai ho it is a string of veterans – lead by the absolute genius of Surekha Sikri.

Surekha Sikri’s skills haven’t been used a lot in films. Yes, her body of work in Television is astounding (The earliest I remember her is from Banegi Apni Baat), but it is sad that Hindi Cinema didn’t exploit her talent enough in her 40-year odd career! Well, at least now we have Badhaai Ho… She is the head of the family here and she leads the way with élan.

If you have seen the trailers you know that this is a film about a middle-aged couple who get pregnant. And it brings with it ignominy and oodles of laughter. They suddenly become the ‘Mock of the Town’ and their young boys start hiding from their extended family and friends to hide their shame! Ofcourse, after a bag full of laughs and tears, all ends well and you walk out of the theater beaming.

Is this a perfect film? No. But does it get a whole lot of things right? Yes. And it’s majorly because of the insightful writing. The characters are well thought out and the dialogues are brilliant. The director gets the right people to deliver them and their delivery is pitch perfect. Surekha Sikri is ably supported by fellow TV veteran, Neena Gupta and the delightful Gajraj Rao. Be it the awkwardness of telling his sons about the unwanted pregnancy or the quite pride of still having his manhood intact at such an advanced age, Gajraj Rao is an absolute hoot. And a special mention needs to be made for the sound design of the scenes. The background music is just spectacular and elevates every scene by leaps and bounds. Just watch the scene where Gajraj first finds out that his wife is pregnant, and I promise you the background score lifts that scene so brilliantly that you will have labour pains from all that laughter!

Ayushmann and Sanya play second fiddle to the veterans and they don’t let the veterans down. But it’s the forced strain in their relationship that lets the film down a bit. It is highly unnecessary and I guess it is merely added to increase the length of the film. The film does get a little too soppy in its 3rd and final act, but then Sikri is always there to brighten up the proceedings. Also, the songs are 3rd rate, so that’s a negative. But these are but minor flaws in the entire scheme of things and nothing can help you from having a good time at the theater.

So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get in bed with this film and have a good time! Age no bar, because it leaves everyone equally pregnant with happiness… Go on, check it out at your nearest cinema and watch the veterans rise!

Rating: 3.5/5 – Keep it up Ayushmann. Pick the right scripts and let the veterans shine. And yeah, well done Amit Sharma (director) this is a marked improvement from the disastrous Tevar. You sir have redeemed yourself, now keep it going.

Aah Sriram! Welcome back. With this you’ve finally made up for the catastrophic ‘Agent Vinod’ - a blinding misstep in an otherwise stellar career. Ek Haseena Thi, Johnny Gaddaar, Badlapur are top class films with great wit and scintillating thrills. And most importantly, we need you badly. Because you are one of the rare directors in Bollywood who can make a crazy thriller. And boy is Andhadhun crazy!

Now, a lot of the films drama comes from the insane plot. So guys, I will try not to spill things that you already don’t know from the trailer. It’s about this blind guy who becomes an unwitting witness to a murder. Is he even aware of the murder? Is he involved? Will he be the next target? For that you will have to watch the film. And watch you must.

What I can talk about is everything else, so let’s go. The hero of the film is the sinful writing and the artful execution. The plot, inspired from a short story, is in equal parts rib-tickling and nerve-wracking. The screenplay is tight and rarely wasteful. Everything adds up to the plot or gives it a delicious twist. The first half is an absolute hoot! Haven’t had as much fun in a first half of a film in a long long time – much like Anurag Kashyap’s Gulaal which had a spectacularly powerful first half, but unlike Gulaal Sriram doesn’t completely lose the plot in the second half. Yes, the second half does have some loose ends but you can forgive Sriram for it because you are still having fun. The dialogues are on point and the characters are flavourful. The comedy is in the delightful mix of what is happening, what is being said and who is saying it – it all adds up! The director is never trying too hard for thrills or laughs.

In terms of the performances, though Ayushmann plays blind, Tabu holds all the cards! She shows you why she is such a powerhouse performer with this wicked turn. And it’s not as if she is completely wicked. What makes it even more brilliant is that you believe that she actually wants to be good! Ayushmann is consistent and plays his part perfectly. It might not be a stellar performance, but he rarely puts a foot wrong. Radhika plays a small part but does it with her usual air of casualness. And then there is the coterie of delightful characters played by Anil Dhawan, Ashwini Kalsekar, Manav Vij and Zakir Hussain. They might not be the main ingredients, but they surely add the salt to this lip-smacking buffet.

What could Sriram have done better? Well, the second half is a little stretched and you start wondering where it is headed. It could have been tighter. And considering the main lead is a musician, the music could have been much better. I mean, it works for the film, but you won’t play the tracks separately and enjoy them.

So that’s it. Rarely do you get a chance to watch a rib-tickling Bollywood thriller at the cinema. Don’t miss out on this opportunity. Aankh band karke ticket lo and Andhadhun dekh lo.

Rating: 4/5 - Like if you agree.. Comment if you don't!

Very rarely is cinema used to show the world in all its glorious greys. They generally paint the world black and white. You root for the protagonist through their absolutely worst, because somewhere you know he/she has been wronged. But what if nothing was black or white. What if with every step you had to question your decision? Three Billboards is cinema at its powerful best. Because it opens up a separate can of worms at every step and makes you question where you stand morally. And that is what makes it a deeply affecting piece of art. 
 
The plot is simple. It’s a mom’s quest to find the killer and rapist of her daughter, and she is ready to do absolutely anything to do the same. In one glorious move, she directly attacks the Police Chief by asking hard questions about the murder on 3 billboards placed on a freeway that is hardly used by anyone. And this, as they say, stirs up the hornet’s nest.
 
While everyone sympathizes with her, they also sympathize with the chief as he is not only a good man but also a dying man. While she doesn’t know about it when she puts up the hoarding, but even after finding out she doesn’t bend. She knows she is on the right path and no guilt can stop her from finding out the truth about her daughter. Now, she not only faces the wrath of the town but also of the Chief’s racist sidekick. Will she succeed in her mission, in embarrassing the police enough for them to find her daughter’s killer? Or will she succumb to the pressure put by the police on her? To know that you will have to watch the movie. And watch you must!
 
The movie will really make you think. You might find some things too farfetched, too sudden, but then most of it will just make you think what you would have done. You will judge each character, you will take sides, you will definitely be moved. It is not a perfect movie, but it is an affecting movie and very rarely does a movie put you on that moral seesaw. Is the mother going to far by going after a dying police chief? Is the police chief really a good guy if he supports a racist, aggressive subordinate? Is the subordinate really bad or is he driven to that by his wicked mom? Is the mother really any different than a racist subordinate if she discriminates against a dwarf? There are many questions and very few answers. You have to look within to find these answers and that is the triumph of the film.
 
Martin McDonagh, the writer-director of this film is truly a champ. After having given us marvels like “In Bruges” and “Seven Psychopaths”, he really ups the game in Three Billboards.  He could be picking up some big ones at the Oscars soon. And what adds the cherry on top are the performances. While Francis McDormand is flawless as the grieving mother ( and almost has the Oscar in the bag), Woody Harrelson excels as the police chief stuck between a rock and a hard place. But the one who’s character is the most flawed is the wicked subordinate played by Sam Rockwell. You might question his character’s arc, but you won’t question the performance – it’s brilliant. It’s so good to see him get some meaty roles once in a while. And this might just get him an Oscar.
 
So you might catch it before the Oscars on Monday morning or maybe after that, but be assured that it will be hoarding a lot of awards. Coz whether you like it or not, Francis McDormand is a Volcano that will engulf you with her fury. 
 
Rating: 4.5/5  - Yes, it has its problems, but then it is like nothing you have ever seen.

There’s a scene in the middle where a lecherous Akshay Kumar (cameo), sporting a hair-bun, forces the 2 main leads of the film to take off their clothes and expose their buns. Standing there in their kachchaas, exposing their perfect abs, they question a suspect! The scene is utterly pointless, but then in that scene you know that the Kachchaa exposing antics of David Dhawan have well and truly been transmitted to his son, Rohit Dhawan. The only saving grace is that you don’t have to look at the hairy legs of Shakti Kapoor!

 
I had no intention of watching this film, but then I read some good reviews about it and someone even said that it was like a Hindi version of Bad Boys. GHATAA!! It was just a very bad mix of all the regular buddy cop comedy tropes.

​ 
If you have seen the trailer, then you know that this movie begins with the kidnapping of a famous Indian cricketer (conveniently named Viraj). To solve this case, the Indian Foreign Minister sends to UAE the best Indian cop (John Abraham). He has the mind of Sherlock Holmes and the range of expressions of a wooden broomstick! There he combines with an Indian-Origin rookie cop from the UAE (Varun Dhawan) and they ham their way to solving the case. And yeah, Akshaye Khanna plays one of the lamest bad guys in the history of Indian cinema.

 
The story, screenplay and direction is done by Rohit Dhawan. With so much talent filled in one person (Zilch), no wonder this film turned out the way it did (Belch)! While the premise is interesting, the story runs out of steam pretty quick and third rate jokes start to pile up. John acts like a regular hard ass in a foreign land and the police force there seems utterly inept. And the case is solved by mistake, rather than competence. Even the way they escape in the end is so pea-brained, you just know that someone with an IQ of Rahul Gandhi would have conceptulaised it. 


Varun Dhawan tries really hard to make this ride fun, but most of the audience is left looking as constipated as John Abraham. This is because the investigation is pretty lame, the action sequences sub par, the songs forgettable and the acting just atrocious. The best piece of comedy is from a cellphone conversation Varun has with an unknown person, which is entirely irrelevant to the story and that doesn’t speak too highly of the movie. Atleast, David Dhawan and Govinda would ensure some genuine laughs!
 
​
It’s amazing how John Abraham still gets movies. There are enough beefy guys in the industry to do what he has been doing ( NOT acting) for so many years. Why him?? Anyway, Varun is talented but he needs a better vehicle than this to deliver. As for Nargis Fakhri and Jacqueline Fernandes, the less we speak about them, the better. Even Akshaye Khanna wastes his comeback, but then maybe he would have got an Abbas Mastan thriller instead. So he doesn’t really have too many options. The only saving grace of this film are the cricket scenes and Mohinder Amarnath’s acting! Subhaan Allah…

 
Should you watch this movie? Absolutely not. If entertainment was the objective, then Dhawan fails miserably. It neither has style, nor substance. It is pretty redundant in the scheme of things and is definitely not worth the price of admission. Infact it would be better to have SAU TARAH KE ROG, rather than watch this bullshit.

 
Rating: 3/10

Lo and behold... Luv Ranjan has given rise to an all new genre of movies... the male equivalent to a Chick Flick.... It's the D#ck Flick! Yeah, it's a movie where a bunch of frustrated guys get together and bitch about their girlfriends, their friend's girlfriends and just about any other girlfriend they know of. 

Gone are the days when guys would leave their frustrations behind and watch a mindless action flick with loads of stunts and gore. It's the twitter generation. Now we want to constantly bitch and hashtag it. We want to showcase our frustrations, rather than remove that frustration in a game of Aaba Doobi! Yes, we men are now more in touch with our feelings. And so the rise of the d#ck flick.

 Luv Ranjan takes the exact same recipe as last time, but just gives more of everything. He's got more money to blow, so he does that with aplomb. The girls are bitchier than ever, the guys are whinier than before, the solo rants are longer and there is even a foreign location pumped in. The songs continue to be useless, the direction remains mediocre and the performances uneven. Off the 3 guys, 2 are consistent but 1 is good sometimes. Sad that they couldn't get the bespectacled guy in the first movie who was by far the most competent actor! The girls are caricatures and one-dimensional characters, that are out there to take advantage of every move that the guy makes.

Now, I am an engineer, so I understand the space this movie comes from. The mind of an extremely frustrated guy, who doesn't get a girl for years ( not even in the same classroom) and builds up a lot of contempt for womankind. Stories float around of how hearts are broken and mountains are built of molehills ( literally and figure-atively speaking!!!). The first film touched the hearts of every such guy out there. Finally, someone was giving it back. And the success of this movie proves that those guys are out there even today looking for an outlet. What's ironic is the girls don't mind this movie either, so you might catch most guys going for the film because their girlfriend's want to go for this movie! Afterall a D#ck Flick has a similar premise to a Chick Flick, just that this is the guy's side of the story.

The film does have its moments and does touch chords that most guys would relate to, but Luv Ranjan seems to be a one trick pony. His film Akaash Vani ( love story) didn't do well, so he is back with part 2 of the same shit that worked. Now let's see if he can come back strong. Ofcourse with something new. Or he could just make a SitCom on the same premise ( the film does have a more sitcom feel to it) and could just keep milking the frustration week after week.

Rating: 4.5/10

There is a scene in the film, where Amy Jackson sits on Akshay Kumar, while he is on the driver's seat and she goes on to drive the SUV through rough terrain. As her shapely behind smashes against Kumar's manhood, he squirms out of pleasure. Now imagine you are Akshay Kumar and Prabhudeva is Amy Jackson. That's how much fun this ride is! #Vomit

It's amazing how even after making Ramaiya Vastavaiya and Action Jackson, Prabhudeva still gets money to waste on films like Singh is Bling. His Directorial Pelvic Thrusts ring deep in the recesses of your mind and give you a shooting pain in the arse.

This film cannot be called a film, because it lacks everything needed to make a film (most importantly brains). There is no story, no screenplay. The dialogue writing is atrocious, the acting ridiculous. Amy Jackson adds to the list of Madame Bollywood's list of Wax Statues! And the worst part is, it isn't even remotely funny. The Sardar Jokes have become too Blah and not even Akshay Kumar's goofy charm can help. This is the kind of film made for the lowest common denominator, but which fails even there.

While Singh is King had good songs and decent comedy, this one makes the original seem like a masterpiece. And you can't even say that it is so bad, it's good. Yeah, it's just bad. Someone please give Prabhudeva a one way ticket to Chennai and just BAN him for life. He might be a great dancer, but he cannot make such a mockery of public money and direction - as an art form. Let me not waste more time on this shit. Seriously, in front of this, piss is bliss!

Rating: 1.5/10 ( Only for playing the TUNG TUNG song in the beginning!)
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Well, there are times when you’ve got to forget everything else and just “stand up & applause” a performance. A performance so brilliant that it leaves the perfectionists and the kings behind. A performance by an artist so confident of her game that everything else just wilts in comparison.   

I confess, I am in love again. I am Run out, Bowled over, completely stunned by this powerhouse of a performer. With Tanu Weds Manu Returns, Kangana shows every Khan, every Kapoor in the business that she’s the Hero they really need to be worried about! She’s got the swag, the talent and the charisma – that’s 3 khans packed into one.

Anand Rai’s story is really mad cap and his characters are ever crazier. The film starts off with an absolutely bonkers of a scene where Manu gets institutionalized for being mad. Tanu, who’s a lost soul in London, returns to Kanpur and finds her Mojo! She starts flirting around, creating havoc everywhere she goes. She’s the “patakha” whose “waat” is always on fire. She’s ready to explode. And explode she does! Meanwhile, Manu gets saved by his friend Pappi, who takes him back home to Delhi. And that’s when he meets Kusum, Tanu’s Haryanvi look-alike. From then on, things go from mad to worse!

The first half of the film is an absolute laugh riot. It is not so much the story, but the dialogues and the delivery that creates the magic. Every actor in the film does his/her bit with aplomb. Be it Madhavan’s awkward silences or Dobriyal’s one liners. Be it Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub’s madness or Jimmy Shergill’s stability. But it is Kangana who steals the show by a mile and 3 quarters! You are already in awe of her drunken, broken, screw the world, badass attitude as Tanu, when a thunderbolt called Kusum strikes you. Half the theater didn’t even realise the 2nd Kangana is actually Kangana. It’s that big a transformation. Not just physically, but the body language, the dialect, the gestures. And your jaw literally drops. You are as awe-struck as Madhavan in the film.

A lot of credit goes to Anand Rai, who gives Ranaut the ‘roles’ she deserves and she hits the ball right out of the park. So even though the films story goes into the absolutely lunacy zone in the second half and the director seems to be wandering in LA LA land, Kangana holds you spellbound. Watch her dance with absolute rage in “Main Ghani Baawri Ho gayi” as Tanu or walk determinedly in “Move On” or dance with complete abandon in “Banno tera Swagger (Sweater)!!” and tell me if anyone else can pull it off with that much panache! Watch her teary eyes drunken walk as she aches to be the other girl and tell me that you are not reminded of Meena Kumari. No wonder she’s been picked to play Meena in her biopic! No one else could pull it off.

As you can see, this is not so much a review as a love letter, an ode to the best performance I have seen in a long long time; probably one of the best I have ever seen. So forget about everything else, and do yourself a favour – Watch Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Get ready to do the double take at her double take and then bow to the Queen…

Rating: 7.5/10

P.S: I won’t really go into the technical aspects or the flaws in the central premise, because that would dilute the impact of Kangana’s roles. Go get angry, laugh and cry with her, and forget about the flaws in everything else.