There are many kinds of train journeys. From the memorable ones you take with the family, where you enjoy every step of the way, with delicious home cooked food coupled with specialty of every station; to the horror ones where you don’t have a seat and have to make do near the door of a toilet.
This one is where you try to hide in the toilet, but get caught by the TC and you have to sit on a smelly, dengue-ridden station all night wondering what you will do because you have no other option! Yes, it’s that bad. But who cares a damn, when you make 100 Crores in 3 days. No, really. Who cares?
The movie starts with the unusual premise of a 40 year old guy who isn’t married because of his loving but irritating 100 year old grandpa. But when the grandpa dies, he is given the duty of taking his Ashes to Rameshwaram. He just wants to go to Goa, so boards the Chennai Express. Unfortunately for him, he meets a Tamilian girl on the way and gets stuck with her. The movie is then a convoluted loop of running away and coming back. Anyways, the story is hardly a point to discuss, because this is a Goods Train delivering HAM exclusively, much like any other Rohit Shetty vehicle.
Now, knowing arithmetic, I had wished the following:
If SRK = HAM(-ive) and Rohit Shetty = HAM(-ive), then HAM * HAM will be +ive. But I underestimated these 2 greats and used the wrong sign. It was actually HAM main HAM = PARAG HAM!
SRK, like a rabid, desperate dog who’s just been freed from his lease, runs amuck and hams like there is no tomorrow. The comedy is so over the top, that it creates a new low for comedy (if that was possible)!!! And most surprisingly, unlike most Shetty movies, this is not even entertaining beyond a point. Infact the second half is so lame, that you would prefer smelling armpits in a Mumbai local at peak time!
And then there are the regular South Indian clichés. Rohit Shetty uses Tamil heartily in the film giving non-Tamilians the chance to simply laugh at the language as is. SRK keeps making goofy, constipated faces and makes a smart-ass comment every time someone speaks in Tamil. You know that the jokes are going to be juvenile and un-imaginative when the director uses the done to death “Tamil Terimaa” PJ. Deepika starts off her heavy and forced “Thamill” accent pretty well, but isn’t consistent throughout. Her body language though is good and you simply cannot ask for anything more from the actor who struggles to act!
Also, apparently Tamil Nadu does not have a single well educated, smart young man. All are either tall, fat, ugly looking goons or bald, teeka wearing old men. And nobody drives a normal car there. Everyone has a freaking Sumo! How original!!
The camerawork like any other Rohit Shetty film is snazzy, with the typical Telugu Film styled ramped action sequences. But the screenplay is atrocious. The first half is like riding an express train that stops at designated stops, while the second half is like that Slow train which stops at every freaking stop. Song after song just bogs down the pace and you just want to jump off from the next bridge. As if Rohit Shetty’s BOKWAAS humour was not enough, the film gets an ample dose of the usual SRK romantic crap. From the trekking bag strut, to the wide open armed pose, to the bloody fight in the end where he gets beaten up black and blue before he fights back.
Should you board this train? Well, as you know a generous amount of people have already boarded it and don’t care about it derailing. But if you can’t take the black smoke rising from it’s chimney and the overflowing toilet without water, then you must try to be late for it, in hope that it leaves the platform before you arrive or simply log onto IRCTC to book a ticket for this movie (Yeah, it’s just better not to find it!). And if you do find it, ask yourself "Kahase Khareedi Aisi BOkwaas film ki Tikati?"
Frankly this is one train that desperately needs a chain; infact, needs to be sent to the yard for immediate dismantling!
Rating: 3/10 ( for one good song and the cinematography)
This one is where you try to hide in the toilet, but get caught by the TC and you have to sit on a smelly, dengue-ridden station all night wondering what you will do because you have no other option! Yes, it’s that bad. But who cares a damn, when you make 100 Crores in 3 days. No, really. Who cares?
The movie starts with the unusual premise of a 40 year old guy who isn’t married because of his loving but irritating 100 year old grandpa. But when the grandpa dies, he is given the duty of taking his Ashes to Rameshwaram. He just wants to go to Goa, so boards the Chennai Express. Unfortunately for him, he meets a Tamilian girl on the way and gets stuck with her. The movie is then a convoluted loop of running away and coming back. Anyways, the story is hardly a point to discuss, because this is a Goods Train delivering HAM exclusively, much like any other Rohit Shetty vehicle.
Now, knowing arithmetic, I had wished the following:
If SRK = HAM(-ive) and Rohit Shetty = HAM(-ive), then HAM * HAM will be +ive. But I underestimated these 2 greats and used the wrong sign. It was actually HAM main HAM = PARAG HAM!
SRK, like a rabid, desperate dog who’s just been freed from his lease, runs amuck and hams like there is no tomorrow. The comedy is so over the top, that it creates a new low for comedy (if that was possible)!!! And most surprisingly, unlike most Shetty movies, this is not even entertaining beyond a point. Infact the second half is so lame, that you would prefer smelling armpits in a Mumbai local at peak time!
And then there are the regular South Indian clichés. Rohit Shetty uses Tamil heartily in the film giving non-Tamilians the chance to simply laugh at the language as is. SRK keeps making goofy, constipated faces and makes a smart-ass comment every time someone speaks in Tamil. You know that the jokes are going to be juvenile and un-imaginative when the director uses the done to death “Tamil Terimaa” PJ. Deepika starts off her heavy and forced “Thamill” accent pretty well, but isn’t consistent throughout. Her body language though is good and you simply cannot ask for anything more from the actor who struggles to act!
Also, apparently Tamil Nadu does not have a single well educated, smart young man. All are either tall, fat, ugly looking goons or bald, teeka wearing old men. And nobody drives a normal car there. Everyone has a freaking Sumo! How original!!
The camerawork like any other Rohit Shetty film is snazzy, with the typical Telugu Film styled ramped action sequences. But the screenplay is atrocious. The first half is like riding an express train that stops at designated stops, while the second half is like that Slow train which stops at every freaking stop. Song after song just bogs down the pace and you just want to jump off from the next bridge. As if Rohit Shetty’s BOKWAAS humour was not enough, the film gets an ample dose of the usual SRK romantic crap. From the trekking bag strut, to the wide open armed pose, to the bloody fight in the end where he gets beaten up black and blue before he fights back.
Should you board this train? Well, as you know a generous amount of people have already boarded it and don’t care about it derailing. But if you can’t take the black smoke rising from it’s chimney and the overflowing toilet without water, then you must try to be late for it, in hope that it leaves the platform before you arrive or simply log onto IRCTC to book a ticket for this movie (Yeah, it’s just better not to find it!). And if you do find it, ask yourself "Kahase Khareedi Aisi BOkwaas film ki Tikati?"
Frankly this is one train that desperately needs a chain; infact, needs to be sent to the yard for immediate dismantling!
Rating: 3/10 ( for one good song and the cinematography)
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