He was in an unusually chirpy mood. "100 Crores in 3 Days", he said and started laughing uncontrollably. The bowler hat fell off his head in slow motion and did not touch the ground before I had taken 3 laps of his living room! It finally fell with a slight dhoom and Aamir put on his GAME FACE for the interview.
Me: Why Aamir? Why? I asked with a slight stutter.
Aamir: Bande hai hum uske, humpe kiska zor...
Me: Umeedon se zyaada, tumne humein kiya bore.
Aamir: Hahahaha!! Chill yaar. Maskhara, Mazaakiya role tha, with flying bikes and slow motion action. You ask why? I say why not? I am almost 50 now. If not now, when?
Me: But we expect a certain kind of cinema from you. Good Cinema, Good Acting. The last thing we expect is a toilet flush of a movie from the YRF stable!
Aamir: Why? Why should I bear the burden of good cinema all the time, while others laugh their butts off to the bank? Devgan fights his way to 100 Crore, Salman goes shirtless for 200 Crore, SRK hams his way to 300 Crore, then why shouldn't I have some fun for a change? Why should the onus of good cinema lie with me? I also wanna play a bad guy, I also want to fight, remove my shirt, ham.
Me: But all in one film? You could have taken it slow!
Aamir: Aah, my boy... life is short (like me!!). And when was I going to get another opportunity to have fun while YRF pays for it? I rode nice bikes, wore awesome clothes ( barring that ridiculous bowler hat!), did extra slow motion action sequences, shot in exotic locales, smooched Katrina - what else would an old man want?
Me: Ok. But you were there on the set. You saw the script. How did you even agree to such a ridiculous script? So many gaping holes, such lethargic pacing? What were you thinking?
Aamir: The problem is, you guys think I always think. No. Sometimes I just don't. I read the script. Spoke to Salman. He said karle yaar, YOLO. I said Chalo! I thought if there are gaping hole in the scripts, I will ride my bike through it.
Me: But some logic? First of all, the central trick was blatantly ripped off from "The Prestige" and then the bank robberies were so bloody lame! Nobody knows how the hell did you manage to get into a bank and all we were shown is you running off in a Bike that tranforms into a boat! I mean, come on! Kuch Bhi ka limit hota hai! And then the hajaar Slow mo shots. If you had not wasted so much time in it, the film would have been atleast half an hour shorter.
Aamir: Cool it man. Have some water. You seem to have gone full retard (like me in the film)! Ok, see Nolan has been good to me. Remember Ghajini? The first 100 Crore film, was copied from Nolan's Memento. Well, I had to have another one. My last 100 Crore film was in 2009. What better way than to dumb down another Nolan classic? And Dhoom was never about intellectual stimulation. If you thought that the Dhoom franchise was more like "The Italian Job" rather than the intended "Fast and Furious", then that's your problem!
Me: Oh! come on. The action here was just arduously long and boring. You think the Chicago PD is so useless that they have to get a bunch of fail cops to fly down from India? Specially such bad acting cops? I mean, that expression has been on Abhishek Bachchan's face for like 15 years now. Someone should give him a Guinness Record for the "Longest Long Face" already!
Aamir: That was a deliberate ploy my friend. Check this tweet
"Priyam Sharma @Bunnyisback94: By showing that US police needed help of Uday Chopra to catch Aamir Khan in #Dhoom3, India has humiliated US more than US humiliated Devyani"
See. We have taken sweet revenge!
And about that face. Did you check out mine? I actually didn't shit for 4 weeks for that expression to come on my face! Perfection you see...
Me: Talk about preparation! Coming back to the film, what about the music? Such ridiculous music.
Aamir: You think we didn't know that? Why do you think Katrina is shedding clothes like that in every song? The songs are for the eyes. Not the ears. Get it?
Me: Well, that I kinda agree to. That Kamli song is phenomenal man. Kya naachi hai Katrina! Should have played that song 3 times. Paisa vasool! But why give her just 4 dialogues in the movie?
Aamir: Oh! Have you seen her act?
Me: Well, I agree to that one too. Anyway. Should I be worried? Should I rename you HAMmir KHAN?
Aamir: That depends. Now that I have had some BOY FUN, I think I am over my mid-life crisis. But you never know. Vidushak banne main mazaa toh bahut hai.
Me: But audience ke pichwaade ko sazaa bahut hai!
The final verdict?
Here's the thing, being an Aamir fan, I can only caution you that this is a ridiculous bad film. But there is some fun watching Aamir have fun for a change. Though he goes full retard and tap dances like he has bricks in his boots, he just powers you through the 170 minutes with his presence. While you might just feel bad or bored or cheated, you will still think about his performance back home. It is certainly not one of his best, but has some sparks of brilliance.
I know I have kinda tried to defend his decision to work in this film, but that is simply because I want to believe that that could be the only sane reason for him to do it. It's for my own peace of mind.
Watch it with friends who can hoot, if you have to! Else, flush it in the toilet like most YRF films. Oh! by the way, you know who the director is right? He made Tashan.
Rating: 4/10 ( +1 for the kid who plays young Aamir - amazing talent)
Do LIKE if you agree and COMMENT if you think I have been too lenient!