It's a new day. The headache's gone, but the scars remain. Yesterday night was my tryst with Don 2. Today, I am at a loss of words, and hence I have decided to interview Don himself. Don ko pakadna mushkil hai, but naamumkin nahi ... As you can catch him at a theater nearby... But you wish he was un-catchable!
Me: So, Don ji. Aaapke Dushmano ki sabse badi galti kya hai?
Don: Ki woh Don ke dushman hai!
Me: Aur Audience ki?
Don: Stunned silence.....
Me: Ki woh Don ki audience hai....
Me: Can you tell me, how did you come up with this inane plot? Robbing the RBI equivalent in Germany?
Don: Don apni kahani khud likhta hai...Don bhagwaan ki bhi nahi suntaa..
Me: You mean, you dint take inspiration from innumerable Hollywood B grade action films?
Don: To steal is Don's profession. Are you surprised?
Me: Stunned silence....
Me: What about the ATROCIOUS music?
Don: When people are busy looking at me pouting and strutting like I have hernia, why would they even bother listening to the music.
Me; But ...
Don: Butt... Don likes butts.....
Me: Who wrote the insipid dialogues?
Don: Don ke dialogue likhe nahi jaate... They are made on-the-spot.
Don: Don himself doesnt know what he is going to say next! Keeps the suspense going...
Me: OK, suspense maybe.. but what about sense?
Don: Sense has given up catching up with me, long time back... As you know, Don ko samajhna mushkil hi nahi, naamumkin hai....
Me: Stunned silence...
Me: But what about Farhan? He is such a brilliant director. How did he make such a boring film?
Don: Don ki director ki sabse badi galti kya hai?
Me: I know I know...
Don: Any more confusion?
Me: You know, I missed 20 minutes of the film. Then I wasted some time buying food to eat.. Even then I was bored to death...
Don: Haa.. That means you also didnt understand the film.
Me: What was there to understand/ You deliberately got caught, went to jail, rescued Boman Irani, took advantage of him, plotted to rob the German RBI, successfully did it...
Don: Haan, but did you understand how I just put on a mask of Hritik Roshan and grew 5 inches in height?
Me: Stunned silence....
Me: Last time, there was a twist in the tale that was pleasantly surprising.
Don: yes, Until Don's audience understands his last move, Don has already made his next.
Me; But this time, the twists were so predictable that the CLASS 2 boy next to me, knew what was going to happen next.
Don: And so you think....
Me - You mean, there was a plot within a plot, that no one gets? That no one can make sense of?
Don (Mischievous Smile... pout... and a head shake...)
Me: Now, I am thoroughly confused.
Me: But why such weak characterizations?
Don: As I said "Don ko samajhna..."
Me: Haan Haan I know... But what about Kunal Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Om Puri, Lara Dutta...?
Don: What about them?
Me: The action was also so bogus... I mean, the car chase and the inexplicable jump from the building!
Don: Don is a lover.... Action is just an excuse....
Me: But I thought you were an internationally known thief, who steals for a living .. there has to be some good action.
Don: Don steals hearts my dear..
Me: and sleep aswell...
Me: Ok. last question - Are you going to be back?
Don: Don khud nahi jaanta ki uski agli chaal kya hogi... So be alert..
Me (piss in my pants)
That I survived the movie and then the interview, is a miracle... This Christmas, Don't you dare watch Don2 !
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Thank God this year is almost over... I can't bear it anymore...