I might not blame you for reading G.1 as GONE, as in GONE with the WIND, because that’s what you wish would happen to G.1 through most parts of this Sangharsh.
Diwali is here and Ra.One’s pyrotechnics have begun. But alas, they are as explosive as a DAMP SQUIB!
I went to the theatre with an open mind. SRK generally brings out the pessimist in me and so I thought, let’s just assume that the movie can be good. My seat number was F.1 and as soon as I was seated, a rotund aunty walked past me and sat on G.1 (the seat!!). I thought that was quiet an irony! G.2 was this aunty’s young kiddo. He was super excited.
The movie started with a “trying-too-hard-to-be-funny” fantasy sequence. 10 minutes into the film, it had already dished out a combo of Over-the-Top and Puerile humour (mostly under the belt). The pessimist in me was back…
SRK plays a scientist cum joker (jyada) South Indian, Shekhar, who creates virtual reality games. His son thinks he is a coward and super lame (he hasn’t met G.1 yet!!). The first hour of the film is dedicated to making fun of the South Indian accent, words, mannerisms etc etc and even the Chinese are not spared. It also contains half a dozen blows under the belt and mentions of Condoms. G.1 is confused. I mean the Aunty sitting in front of me. She is wondering whether to let her son see the film or shut his eyes and ears!
SRK’s son loves villains. So our lame-scientist finally invents a game Ra.One, whose villain is given Artificial Intelligence ( Wish the Director had some too!!). The son defeats Ra.one in round One and Ra.One cannot handle this defeat. So Ra.One brings himself into the real world to kill the son. Will he kill the son? Or will SRK be able to save him? Will G.1 be as lame as his creator? For these questions, you would have to see the film and here are my arguments to make you believe that some-things in life are better unanswered!!!
1) Robot was a much better film!!! ( SRK pays tribute to Rajni in the film. Wish he had Rajni’s charisma.)
2) SRK looks jaded, ragged and hardly a super hero. First he gives us a South Indian who forgets that he is a south Indian every other dialogue (his Hindi is so smooth!) Then he becomes G.One, the lamest, most illogical super-hero you have ever seen.
3) Anubhav Sinha has lots of ANUBHAV of making crappy films and he keeps up his form. (his last film was CASH!!)
4) The script is thread-bare. The problem is that the film is decent rarely and is generally an assembly of good parts from several different films. It starts with Robot, goes through Terminator, moves past Spy Kids, dives into the Matrix and ends with Real Steel !!! Also, the action sequences (though decent) are pointless and the film mostly focuses on crass humour and forced song sequences. The climax is lamer than our super-lame-O himself!
5) The CGI is impressive, but then ROBOT was much better!
6) This film would only impress Kids (with average intelligence), but with too many “Crotch” jokes, condom references and a Boob grab, is not very appropriate for kids! The rotund aunty at G.1 was ok until her son kept repeating “Aiyo” everytime SRK said it, but was repulsed when he repeated “Condom!!!”
7) Kareena Kapoor dishes out “Supposedly funny expletives”, for some inexplicable reason has married a lame-scientist, dances in skimpy clothes in front of her own son and is generally intolerable.
8) Ra.One is barely there in the film and when he is there, he is a poor imitation of the villain in Terminator 3 ! He even cranes his neck in the exact same way as the Hollywood robot did.
9) If you have an iota of the Artificial Intelligence that Ra.One has, you would quickly realize that it would have been better if THIS DIWALI, you had left your brains behind!
The only bright light is the young son (Armaan Verma). He is cool.
I could go on and on about this film, but the film has made me a little drowsy and I just want to sleep! I am sure mujhe kuch din daRa.OneY sapne aayengay!!! You can go ahead and watch it THIS DIWALI, but remember “G.1 ek Sangharsh hai”! If you don’t believe me ask the aunty sitting at G.1. She will tell you that G.1 kya , no matter what your seat number is (A to Z.1), sab sangharsh hai!!!
Rating: 3 / 10 ( for the More than Decent CGI)
p.s. Farishtey nahi hotey.. Hotey toh humein Ra.One se bachaate!!!)
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