1) Depression: 15 minutes into the film you are bored. There is nothing refreshing about the film. There is no story. You know it is going to be one cliched joke about marriage after another. It is like those arranged marriages where the husband and wife have nothing in common, and things just become routine. Here the audience is drawn into the ordinary, with the exception of Farhan, who at least tries to make it a little interesting (almost)!
2) Irritation: If you thought Vidya Balan could never be irritating, well wake up and smell the burnt coffee! She plays the nagging wife to perfection and just nags the shit out of you. And who the hell is the casting director here? From the first irrational scene itself you start shaking your head in disbelief looking at this odd couple. It's like Reema Lagoo is cast opposite Aftab Shivdasani! Try sleeping with that picture in mind...
3) Excessive Hunger: Well, after playing with your thumbs for 15 minutes and then biting your nails off in the next 15, you start feeling hungry. And then you see Ram Kapoor. Why should he have all the food, you ask yourself! Burgers, Popcorn, Sandwiches, Chaat etc etc.. Your mind wanders. Farhan Akhtar makes one more smart ass comment, but you don't really care. What's cooking at home, you wonder.
4) Headache: The music is atrocious, the dancing - ridiculous and then enters Vir Das. He takes the movie to an entirely different level of absurdity. His character is so cliched, and his interactions with Akhtar's character are so amateurishly written and executed that you wonder if the director's name was 'Suck-It'.
5) Nausea: Well, the film kinda catches you off-guard and it does lead to some unprotected mind-f#&k! And then you don't need a pregnancy strip to tell you that you are knocked up. With so much shit on the screen and so much excessive eating off it, who would blame you for feeling puke-ish? One thing the film does manage to successfully do, is make you experience the excruciating pains of labor!
6) Deep Pain in the Arse: Your entire bum goes numb with the constant pounding! Yeah, this is that kind of a marriage... The long '2 and half hour' length does not help either. It feels like one relentless nightmare and you wish it would end sooner. But no. It goes on and on and on, like a Hobo on Viagra and Musli Power Xtra. And just when you think it's going to end, it's interval! Damn it !!!!
Well, I could go on and on( like the film), but then I don't remember half of it because of the permanent brain damage! I am proud that I am a survivor and I really hope you never have to suffer the way I did. Please stay miles away from this marriage, you are better off single. This film is totally atyachari, and you wish you could say "Talaak Talaak Talaak" and end your misery!
Seriously, one of the most irritating films I have ever seen in a theater. And I am especially harsh on it becoz it has 2 quality actors... You expect much much much better from them.